A Late Night Knock

You’ve had a late night knock before, right? An unexpected knocking on your door at an hour when nobody should be knocking? Or perhaps a phone call. At some hour of night when you initially think, “Who in the world would call now?” and then you think, “it must be an emergency to call now!”

And so you jump out of bed and rush to find your phone. As you move, each passing second is an eternity as your brain plays its game, trying to figure out what the emergency could be, who could be hurt, “what if (loved one) died?”, and on and on, until you find your phone (hopefully it just a wrong number).Have you had this happen?

My Late Night Knock

Last night I had something similar happen with me. While Julie and the kids watched a movie (Boss Baby), I went to bed early, around 8pm, because of a really bad nights sleep the night before.

I was vaguely aware of Julie climbing in bed and Bella jumping up near my feet. I was sleeping soundly enough though that I was back out again just as soon as they settled down.

At some point later I had woken from a nightmare and was laying in bed. I had started to drift though. You know that hazy part of sleep where you think you are awake but your dreams are real to you too? That is where I was lingering for an unknowable amount of time (this is common for me).

So I was just lingering in that haze when I thought I became aware of someone moving down the hall next to our room. I was aware of it, but not acknowledging that it was real of course. Then came a knock, hard and loud, on our bedroom door.

Momentary Panic

Because of that haze, my brain hadn’t fully registered someone being awake and in the hall. So when that knock came I almost jumped out of my skin. Bella was instantly up as well and barking as if there was an intruder. While my brain knew it was just a child, my body didn’t care. My heart started pounding in my chest, by fear level was amazingly high, my muscles seemed locked and frozen.

Julie, also startled by the knock, started to get out of bed to check on her child. I wanted to scream at her not to open the door, to tell her that HE must have found us and not to let him in, that we needed to hide. But I was too frozen even to do that. I didn’t say a thing.

I’d like to think that it wasn’t entirely fear make made me freeze, that my brain was also acknowledging that it must be a child needing it mom, and therefore let Julie get up and leave without me saying anything. Julie opened the door and called out.

A Sick Kid

It was Kristie. Poor angel had knocked on our door to wake us and then ran into the bathroom to puke. Julie found her with her head hanging over the toilet. She had knocked just once, apparently not trusting herself to open her mouth in the hallway. She knocked as she hurried past.

Julie tended to her for several minutes as a good mother does. I, like a lazy father, just lay in bed. The panic passed within 5 seconds, but it could have been 5 hours for as long as it felt. During those minutes that Julie helped Kris, I was trying to calm down and find sleep again.

No luck though. The panic was short lived, but the seed had been planted for nightmares to continue throughout the night. Even falling into the hazy awareness was intimidating to me. Having already woken from one nightmare early wherein I had been taken captive, I wasn’t eager to sleep again.

Night Time Games

So for help with nightmares I turned to one of my ‘prescription drugs’ – a video game. I had a therapist give me a ‘prescription’ for them anytime I needed an escape from the trauma or stress. When my thoughts turn dark or ugly, or when I have moments like last night, then they are a great way to just shut my mind down and be distracted from the trauma.

I’m not proud of telling you that I played on our XBOX from midnight until after 4am. When most people think of the type of person who would do that it probably involves a lot of unflattering adjectives and thoughts of uselessness. You know how they’re portrayed in TV and movies.

I like to think that I’m different though. I’m not hooked on the game. I don’t “have to complete that quest,” or “need to get that level,” or “I can’t get left behind,” or whatever it is that drives most ‘gamers.”

The distraction is necessary for me though. I need an escape from mental images of my kids being tortured. I need to escape from thoughts of hurting myself. A distraction from the pain coursing up and down my back. So I think I’m a bit different in my gaming. For me it isn’t an addiction or disease, for me it is the medicine.

I guess I could have been out shopping on Black Friday instead, but honestly, that just seems like the nightmares brought to life.

Take Away

So… I guess the point is this, if you’re going to wake me at some ungodly hour with a phone call, text, or a late night knock, then someone better be dead or dying. Anyone other than my kids doing this to me had better have a good reason, or we’re going to “have a few words”.

11 September 201713 September 2017

Running Log: Cross Country 9/7/2017

9/7/2017

Location: Bluffdale City Park

Participants: NorthStar Academy, Summit Academy, Ascent Academy, Eagles

Course: 2 laps around the mostly flat city park.

Results

Both Joshua and Kristie participated in another Cross Country meet. Josh continues to suffer from Osgood-Schlatter disease in his knee. Because this course was 2 laps of a city park I was able to position myself near the 1 mile point and give them their times as they came by.

My perception was that Josh was far worse in positioning than last week due to the knee pain.

Kristie appeared to fair much better on the flat ground than she did in the rocky hills at Providence Hall.

This post is late in coming because the school never sent out official results. I was waiting for them to come before I posted, but am now posting it without them. If I can round them up later I will update.

UPDATE

Joshua finished 17th with a time of 14:37

Kristie finished 10th with a time of 16:26

10 September 2017

Hiking Timp

Memories of Timp Hikes Past

Picture courtesy of: Mount Timpanogos Facebook page

As a teenager, I recall many hikes up Timpanogos Mountain ( Timp ). Only one of these hikes occurred during the day. Many hikers like to make this hike on a full moon. We try to time things just right so we can be sitting on the summit and watch the sunrise. Having lived my whole life under the shadow of this mountain, sunrises weren’t nearly as spectacular as sunsets for me. It would often be full daylight before sunlight ever reached my yard. But then I watched my first sunrise from the top of this majestic mountain. It is quite the thing to witness.

Photo by Dwight Prince on Facebook

Like I said, I made this hike a number of times as a teenager. Every year with our youth group, once with family, and a number of times with different groups of friends. One time I hiked to the top from the Aspen Grove trail, but all of the other times we took the Timpooneke trail. There were times that we stopped at the “saddle,” but most often I made it to the summit. Many people slide down the glacier from the summit but I never took that venture. We often met and were scared by the “resident moose.” Once we stopped and played around Emerald Lake. I don’t remember any “bad” trips up the mountain. We had aches and pains, but I don’t recall serious injuries. It was a fun hike which I anticipated every year.

Passing on my passion

And so I decided to try and share these memories with my children. Caitlin (15), Josh (13), and Kristie (11), each decided they wanted to try hiking Timp with me. I invited Charlee (9), but she said she doesn’t like the dark or heights so she was happy to stay at home. I invited my sister, Jenni, and she was as giddy as I was. She brought along her oldest boy, Jake.

I watched the full moon schedule, tracked the snow melt, watched the weather and waited for the right time to hike. We tried to go up in early August, but our adventure was thwarted by thunderstorms. (My dad took scouts up there once and got caught in lightening…Yeah, not something I wanted to do with my kids.) And so we set the date for Labor Day. I was so excited. My kids…not so much. They haven’t really done any hiking and didn’t know what to expect or anticipate.

Packing

I packed up apples, 2 different kinds of trail mix, 3 large Poweraides, 3 water bottles, and 2 camelbacks. We had 2 head lamps, 1 mag-light, 2 other flashlights, extra batteries, a pair of hand held radios, a first aid kit, and some random survival supplies. There were 2 backpacks with 3 poweraide/water bottles each, for the kids to trade off carrying along with one camelback. I carried the rest. (Yes, I am a mother who packs WAY too much for her brood, but I was able to heft the heaviest pack so…)

Labor Day Morning: 12:30 AM

I slept through my alarm so Jenni woke me up at 12:30 AM. It’s a good thing she was driving, I would have missed it. We stopped at Walmart for some snacks: bananas, grapes, pop tarts, jolly ranchers, and chewy sprees. (Most of which I hauled but we didn’t eat.) Then we headed up American Fork Canyon to the Timpooneke trailhead. The parking lot was nearly full when we arrived at 1:30am. (Hiking Timp is very popular) We took some pictures and were off!

Altitude Sickness or Sleepy Sickness

We hiked through the dark for about an hour at a nice slow pace. A number of groups passed us (mostly college kids), but we weren’t worried. Slow and steady wins the race, right?!?

Everything was just fine until Jake started getting sick. His stomach hurt and our breaks became more regular and lasted longer with each one. Thinking it might be dehydration, Jenni and I encouraged him to keep drinking water. It is amazing what water, and lack thereof, will do to your body. But things continued to get worse. We made it to the meadow above scout falls when Jake really started feeling poor. We had already seen 2 sets of hikers headed down. Both stated they had a sick hiker. I turned to Jake and told him, “Look! Even big college kids sometime have to turn around. We will stop if you need us to.”

Both Jenni and I were torn. We didn’t want to separate, but the looks on the faces of the kids at the thought of turning around was heartbreaking. Caitlin, Josh, and Kristie were pretty disappointed at the prospect, but they weren’t excited about the thought of leaving Jake either. Jake couldn’t fathom hiking another 3+ hours to the top, but didn’t want to be the reason we all turned around. Finally, Jenni suggested I take the older three while she and Jake tried to sleep for a bit and we would keep in touch via radio. We split up…and around 4:00 AM, Jenni radioed to let us know that they were headed back down the mountain. On the way to the parking lot, Jake threw up (that probably helped the most). By the time he got home, he was feeling great.

Going on alone

My kids were still determined to reach the saddle, but their energy level plummeted after leaving their cousin behind. Instead of joking and singing, there was silence. Breaks were still fairly regular as our altitude increased rapidly. Just a little perspective, the hike to the basin (or what we always called the meadow) is about 5 miles and rises over 3,000 ft in altitude. We made it to the meadow around 5:45 am (a little over 4 hours of hiking). We were only about 2 miles from the summit but the kids were beat. They wanted to rest for a minute. I knew if they stopped they would never go again, but I also didn’t want to make their first hike a miserable one.

I went off in the trees to use the bathroom and by the time I got back, the kids were snoring. Seriously, they huddled up together against the cold and fell asleep and started to snore. I knew we were done but I wasn’t too disappointed. They had done a really hard thing and it was pretty amazing.

This is a picture of our “camping” spot that I took when the sun came up. Below is a picture that Caitlin took when I was trying to rouse my minions in hopes of climbing higher. They weren’t too keen on the idea.

Rescue Chopper

While listening to the sonorous sounds of snoring…I heard a rescue helicopter coming near. It came up over the saddle and circled for a solid 20 minutes. I had never seen rescue people up on Timp before and hoped that they were just checking the area since it was a holiday and there were so many hikers. But that wasn’t so…

As the sun rose and the kids and I were traipsing about the meadow, the chopper came back and landed. We watched them pull out a gurney and some of their supplies. There were no hikers in the area of their landing (we knew cause we had been all over that area messing around). So they were going to have to hike to the injured party and then carry them back to the chopper. So we decided to begin our decent.

view from the basin

As I said before, the meadow is less than 2 miles from the summit but more than 1500 ft higher in elevation. Here are a couple of pictures that I took to show the kids where we were trying to reach in the dark. The first picture shows the summit (even if it is a little out of focus). For their first hike I really only expected us to get to the saddle (picture #2). Alas, after listening to rescue choppers, I was satisfied with our hike and extremely grateful for our safety.

Enjoying the scenery on the way down

One good thing about hiking in the dark is that you don’t see how far you still have to go. It is easier to get into a rhythmic routine of “just keep hiking, just keep hiking, hiking, hiking…All you have to do is HIKE…HIKE.” (Thanks Dory for the theme song) It is also cooler. As the sun hits the trail it can get unbearably hot…fast. I ache for the people just starting their accent as we reach the bottom. Along with the heat of the sun, we have the light to show us the beauties and perils we crossed in the dark. The kids looked around, amazed by the beautiful meadows, and foliage, the treacherous shale crossings, and the awesome views of the canyon below.

We even saw two moose eating just off the trail. They are hard to see in the picture but I assure you, I didn’t really want to get much closer. When they brought up their heads and looked directly at me…I froze…hoping they wouldn’t spook and charge. Thankfully they went right on grazing.

The Down Beat

The hike down was always the worst for me as a youth. And 8 kids later was no exception. One of the ligaments in my hip hurt so bad I could hardly lift my leg. My knees didn’t really appreciate all of the pounding. And Kristie complained of tired feet as we reached the parking lot.

But 5 days later as I right this post I have almost forgotten the pain and really do want to go at it again. Next time (next year) we will make it to the summit of Timp!

1 September 2017

Running Log – Official Event

I know that I was keeping a pretty consistent running log earlier this year. But I didn’t know it would lead to this! Both Joshua and Kristie have joined the Summit Academy Cross Country team. They had their first official meat last night!

1st Official Event

Josh ran a few events with Couch School last year before our fire, but this was Kristie’s first competitive school event of any kind. This was obviously Joshua’s first event here in Utah.

The meet was held at Providence Hall, a charter school in nearby Herriman, Utah. Turns out it is actually closer and easier to get to than Summit Academy, which is on the other side of Bluffdale. Since this was so easy to get to we decided to take the entire family as a cheering section.

Teams were there competing from Providence Hall, Summit Academy (one team from the Independence campus, and one team from the Draper campus), Ascent Academy from Lehi, and a team wearing an Eagles jersey but whose school I didn’t ever catch the name of. 5 teams total.

The Race

These meets are a race around a 2 mile track. The track at Providence was in the rolling hills of the Oquirrh Mountains and inside a small ravine next to the school. The only flat section was the 100 yards where they started and ended. The rest of the course was either uphill or downhill along the windy dirt track. One section of the track was downhill enough that a few kids fell on their way down the hill. A few bumps and bruises, no injuries.

Joshua

They raced the boys first. Joshua had to wear his knee brace. Since starting to run again his Osgood-Schlatter pains resurfaced. He wore the brace and took some Advil and was ready to go.

Josh can do 2 miles on a flat track in just under 13 minutes, but with the hills I wasn’t sure what to expect. He turned in a finish of about 13:30 (unofficial) which given his knee pain and track was pretty good in my mind. It was good enough for him to finish 28th out of 100+ runners.

I’m not sure what they do with those Providence Hall kids, because I think they had 5 boys finish before the first Summit Academy runner came across. First boy finished in about 11:30 minutes.

Kristie

When all of the boys finished it was the girls turn.

I’ve only ever seen her run compared to her siblings, so I wasn’t sure what to expect of this small 6th grader running with 6th, 7th, and 8th graders. She can do 2 miles on a flat track in about 14 minutes.

She finished her turn on those windy hills in just under 17 minutes. I think her short legs had a harder time with the elevation changes than Josh did. That time was good enough to finish 16th out of about 50 girls. First girl across was about 14 minutes I think (I forgot to look).

Accomplishment

They both were totally spent when they were finished running. Kristie looked ready to collapse. I only took Joshua a minute of rest and some fluids to look ready to run again though. I’m not sure he put out as much effort because of the knee. Kristie gave it everything she had and it showed.

I think they both did quite well.

I know Josh is our best runner, but I know he’s never been blazing fast either. He finished about where I expected him to finish. I’ve always thought of Kristie as being quite fast, and given her size and age compared to the field I think it she did really well. They both have room for improvement for sure (mostly just from physical growth), but I think they should both feel a sense of accomplishment.

Side note: Kristie actually tried out for the Volleyball team too. But given the fact we’ve never played volleyball before, she was woefully unprepared for it. Volleyball is even more of a tall person sport than basketball is, and given her short stature it was going to be an uphill battle. She didn’t make it, but was just as happy to be running!

Joshua is eagerly anticipating basketball tryouts later this month!

1 September 2017

Life in Bluffdale

Week two

Well we have been in Bluffdale two weeks now and I guess its about time I let me fans (I use the term loosely) know that I am alive and well. It has been a bit crazy trying to settle into a good routine for the family but I think we are just about there. I am grateful the kids got into the local charter school but man…I broke my budget this month. Completely annihilated it. Uniforms for 6 rugrats and school supplies to boot…I’m ready to just hide until October.

A Typical Day

Although nothing for me is typical, here is what a typical/ideal day looks like. We wake up at 6:30 and spend the next hour … getting dressed, changing diapers, eating breakfast, brushing hair/teeth, doing dishes, family prayer, individual scripture reading. Whew…did we get it all?

The older kids head to school while the younger 3 and I do chores, stories, and play time. This is the time for me and the three boys. Jax is having a hard time getting me to slow down and enjoy life. I see too many projects all around me, too many things that need to be cleaned, organized, finished, etc. I need to improve these 3 hours and focus on the needs of the ones at my feet.

Lunchtime comes all too soon and Andrew heads to school. The 2 boys left at home take their naps while mom gets to do some serious work. I’ve got 3 hours to tackle any project I choose. But don’t get too involved because from 3-4:30 it’s a rat race trying to pickup kids from 3 different campuses (thankfully all here in Bluffdale) while getting two of them to and from cross country practice.

Let me tell you, ironing out the wrinkles in our pick-up routine was rough. The first day, Caitlin waited for over an hour at the high school, because I had to pick up Kristie and get her to the Jr High and I was sure it would be faster than the shuttle. The next day we tried the shuttle, but that meant the little kids waited 30+ minutes for Caitlin and we still had to head over to the Jr High. It took some playing around but I think we are finally all satisfied with the pickup routine.

Evenings are nice, dinner, more playing together and enjoying family time. The kids are always wanting to play with friends but I’ve missed them all day and I don’t like to share much.

Reality

Alright, so I mentioned that was an ideal routine. In reality there have been a lot more projects to make this move comfortable. I have made endless trips to the store for clothes, school supplies, groceries, etc. (And I mean endless both in the quantity and length. Truly it is ridiculous.) There have been multiple trips to PG to get beds, furniture, food, etc. It took me an entire day to set up bunk beds, the daybed, and the crib. Not to mention having to run to the store for a new bolt for the trundle bed. Jax and I spent an entire day cleaning up the driveway area to make room to park. I had to re-caulk the bathtub before bath night. We blew in the insulation at night but painted the whole addition in a 24 hour period.

Thankfully the library isn’t too far away (Riverton – Why doesn’t Bluffdale have one?) because I think I have been there 10 times in the last 2 weeks. I am extremely grateful that we have internet up and running here now and I really feel that things can simmer down from this rolling boil to a gentle rhythm. I still can’t sit still, I am going crazy sitting at the computer instead of wiring outlets. But things improve each and every day.

I choose to enjoy this adventure called life…It’s a journey worth taking.