From Basketball Court to Hallway – The Journey Continues

Both Joshua and Kristie tried out for their school basketball teams.  Both failed to make it.  But they both wanted to play, so we were left with Jr. Jazz basketball through the recreation centers.   Andrew was signed up as well since he wants to do everything his older brother does.

Andrew – Kindergarten

So we started practices this week and today was the first set of games.   Andrew was at 9am this morning.   He is in Kindergarten, and his is in an “instructional” league.   They only meet 1x per week for an hour on Saturday mornings.  They do 30 minutes of instruction with their coach and a 30 minute game with another team.

It was totally awesome.  Both boys and girls were all smiles (and some confused looks) when the game started.  It was mayhem of the best kind.  Most of the kids tried to dribble, but some didn’t bother.  Two of Andrew’s teammates were bigger than all the others and got quite a few rebounds.  They would just grab the ball and sprint to the other end of the floor, no dribbling attempted, and throw up some monster heave at the hoop.  And of course there was the sliding, jumping on balls, an occasional mild push (nothing serious or with ill intent).  They were just having fun playing “monkeyball” as we called it as teenagers.

The officials were awesome as trainers.  They were helping kids understand how to throw in the ball from the sidelines, telling them to dribble, and coaching them about game play.  At one point they did blow the whistle on one of the big kids and explained he needed to dribble when moving with the ball, and then gave him the ball back.

Others were more skilled and would dribble and take some good shots.  Andrew was one of these and scored a few times.  I told him on one trip down to try passing, and he ended up with his first assist by passing to the other kid who seemed to have some skill/experience.

To help the kids on defense they gave them all colored wrist bands.  Each player on one team had a different color, and it corresponded with the same color on an opponents wrist.   So if you had the blue band, you guarded the player on the other team with blue.   It was a cool coaching aid.

The kids had a blast, got to practice some skills, gained some hands on experience, and had good instruction from coaches and officials.  It was a grand time for everyone!

Kristie – 6th Grade

Kristie’s game was at noon at a different location.  Hers is a “competitive” league and they play four 8-minute quarters.  They got the schedules and team rosters on Monday and practiced once this week.  It was the same for everyone, so no team had a ton of time to practice before games started.

Both teams only had 5 girls.  (Kris actually only had 4, but another girl there saw them short handed and jumped in to play).  This game was much less of a “blast” and for the first time ever, I got thrown out of a youth sports event.

Getting Thrown Out

These girls are not Kindergarteners.  Next year they will all be trying out for middle school teams if they want.  They aren’t here for “instructional league.”  And yet the officiating was EXACTLY the same as for Andrew’s game.

There were absolutely NO fouls, traveling, or other such calls made in the first half.  The officials, two teenagers, did nothing but call possession when the ball went out of bounds and call a few jump balls when girls got tied up.   One of them was never even in position under the basket … he simply wandered around aimlessly, often giving us two officials up near mid-court.  He also seemed too scared to blow his whistle; the other one would make possession calls from across the court at times.  

When this officiating incompetence became clear to me near the end of the 1st quarter, I started talking to the official as he came by.  At first it was the wanderer.   He was right in front of me when I said, “You know they play sloppy like this because you let them.  If you’d blow that whistle they could learn to play better.”

Not even a response from him.  Not a word or a look in my direction.  He was happy to ignore me, ignore the game, and just get a paycheck for being there.  He was a lost cause.

About midway through the 2nd quarter they finally moved around enough to have the other official (who at least wasn’t afraid of his whistle) come past me.  To him I asked, “How are they supposed to learn to play the right way if you keep letting them play it wrong?”   He at least looked at me.  He replied, “Hey man, just leave me alone.”

Um, no.  I responded again, “Even on our team, could you call a foul, travel, anything?  Call it on my daughter, but call SOMETHING.”

“They aren’t doing anything wrong though.  I don’t want to hear another word from you.”

Nothing wrong?  I know Kristie had traveled at least half a dozen times, double dribbled twice, and committed who knows how many fouls.  Every girl out there was the same.  Pushing like crazy, hacking arms, walking all over with the ball, sliding every time they stopped.   It was bedlam much like Andrew’s game, ONLY THESE WERE 6TH GRADERS!!!  I was having none of it.

“You don’t see anything wrong?  You should be ashamed to get a pay check for this!”   **WHISTLE BLOWS**  He T’s me up to the desk and throws me out.   The second the whistle blew I was on my feet and walking out but told him one more time, “Ashamed.  You should be ashamed to get paid for this.”

My Expectations

I completely understand not seeing a foul, missing a travel, etc.  That happens.  I officiated high school games in Arkansas and it has happened to me.  Especially with only 2 officials instead of 3.  This wasn’t the case though.  These two had either made a decision to call nothing, or were incapable of seeing what was obvious and calling it.

I expect 6th graders to be officiated to a higher standard than Kindergarteners.  I’ll use Kris as my example, but it applies to every girl there as well.  How is Kris supposed to get better playing like that?

How does she learn NOT to travel if she isn’t penalized for doing it?  She won’t even recognize that what she is doing is wrong if it is allowed to happen.  Same with dribbling, carries, double dribble, etc.

And defense?  How will she learn to play good defense if she is allowed to play bad defense?   She won’t develop the instinct not to hack someone’s arm if the whistle isn’t blown.  They won’t learn good defensive posture and positioning if they learn that it works just fine to hang on somebody.  It is the officiating that teaches them where the line is between acceptable actions and penalties.

Kris will try out for the middle school team next year.  If she shows up and has been used to the standard of being able to travel, she will surely do it and be judged poorly by a coach.  Calling fouls and penalties on MY DAUGTHER will make her better. PLEASE DO IT!

And what about the highly skilled player?  You are robbing that one too.  If Kristie develops a killer cross over and pull up shot in the lane, she is robbed if the defender is allowed to hang on her as she changes direction to go by.  Kris would then learn by experience that the skill she worked to develop DOESN’T work, because the official allowed the defender to stop it without penalty.   So she doesn’t develop and her learning is stunted.

When bad officiating is present both the skilled and unskilled are penalized and will fail to improve.  What might be acceptable for Kindergarteners and some older grades should definitely be gone by the time they reach 6th.   This was worse than the 3rd/4th/5th grade games I officiated back East.   Just disgraceful.

Ejection Rescinded

So I sat in the hallway and watched the game through the open gym door.  At  halftime the official came to talk to me.   I explained to him what I just explained above.  He explained that he didn’t want to be yelled at.  I told him I hadn’t yelled.   I asked if I could come back in.  He said “Fine, but I don’t want to hear anything.”   Fine.

He walked in and then walked to the other court (behind a giant curtain).  When he came back he was with an older man in a green striped shirt.  He came walking over to me.

“Are you going to throw me out too?” I asked.

“Throw you out?  No! I’m the site supervisor though, would you tell me what is going on.”  So I told him about the utter lack of officiating, of my “be ashamed” insult, and of my expectations for players this age.  I also told him that when I pay to enter the league that I expect them to use that money for competent officials.

He totally agreed with me on expectations.  He said he would watch the game and see if he could see what I was describing.  When we were finished, he disappeared for most of the 3rd quarter but stuck his head around the giant screen a few times to watch for a moment.   During a time out on the other court he came over again and asked me about it.  I told him, still not one foul call.  I said one girl on our team lost control of her dribble at mid court and bounced it over her shoulder where it rolled down her back, she turned and picked it up and kept dribbling, all with no call made.   He looked aghast.   Nothing had changed.

Improvement… but still WOW!

So he made a change.  He took over the table at our game and sent the other kid to the other court.   During the last quarter break he talked to the officials and I could see he was trying to train them a bit.

To start the 4th, nothing had changed.   This supervisor had to call out from the table a few times, “That was a travel, you HAVE to call that.”   His presence and officiating from the table was the only thing that made it bearable in the 2nd half.   They were forced to at least LOOK like they were trying since the boss was there.

The one official that threw me out actually got better.  He called a few travels, and 2 fouls in the 4th quarter.  He might have hope with some training and experience.  The other was just as hopeless as the first half.   He wasn’t in position to see the plays, and he never blew his whistle except for possession calls when the ball went out of bounds.  He seemed like he was trying because the supervisor was there, but just didn’t have ANY idea how a basketball game should be played.  It was that or he just really didn’t care at all.

Afterward the supervisor came to me again.  He said that he has to write evaluations and a report after each day.   I had to provide my name and such so it could be recorded I was thrown out.  He said he will make sure there are improvements for next week and going forward.  He didn’t apologize for officiating being as atrocious as it was, but he did agree that it was unacceptably poor.

Joshua – 8th grade

Josh’s game was at 3pm at yet another location.  This team is largely made up of Joshua’s friends at school.   One of their Dad’s is coaching, but he told me, “I don’t know anything about basketball.”  So he is listed as being in charge, but he told me to please take over and help.  So now I’m unofficially coaching Joshua’s team.

This game was great.  Officials were good.  They missed calls of course, everyone does.  But they knew the game and made it fair.   The teams were fairly close in ability too.  Both teams have a couple of decently skilled guys, and a handful of question marks.   But even the question marks have decent skills and largely know the rules by this age.

The other team had one main scorer but it turned out Josh was able to shut him down.  The few times Josh had to come out for rotation of substitutes this guy would score and they’d take the lead.  Josh would come back and his scoring would stop and we’d take the lead.  It was fairly back and forth like this.

We were down 5 with about 3 minutes to go when I told the coach, “We’re at the point now that if you want to win we need to put Josh, Dallen, and Jarren back in.”   So he did.   The other team stopped scoring and with 25 seconds left we took a 1 point lead.  Josh fouled their decent player (and only other scorer) with 8 seconds to go.   Luckily he missed both (after making both shots on his previous trip to the stripe).  Our boys couldn’t handle the rebound though, and it was fumbled and ended in a jump ball, opponents possession.   2 seconds left and they called timeout.   They were given directions to not allow anything inside and to harass the scorer.   They got a pass in to another player who missed badly as time expired.   An exciting game made better by victory.

I made a point of shaking the officials hands and telling them good job.  I did rag one about a (correct) moving screen call though.  Who calls that in Jr Jazz?

Conclusion

I got ejected (kind of) from a youth sporting event.   I deserved it, but I wasn’t wrong either.

I’m not sure what to think of the fact that the boys had competent refs but the girls didn’t.   Was it a fluke that they had two bad refs? Or has Marv Jensen decided girls don’t deserve the same quality as the boys do?  I sure hope that isn’t it and assume it isn’t.

My other interactions with Marv Jensen Rec Center have all been positive with quick correction to the few errors made, so I hope that this is remedied as well.  ALL the kids deserve competent officials regardless of age or sex.  It is something I expect to receive as a customer paying outlandish prices.  And of the 6 officials I saw today 4 of them were great.

I’m sure I should conclude I was wrong to be insulting.   I was.  My characterization of their performance was spot on, but I could have left out the insult.

I’m glad I spoke up though.   The supervisor would have had no idea how bad things were otherwise.  Sure, he might have heard a complaint about bad officiating, but every official hears that.   But my being ejected drew enough attention for him to see it for himself and to realize it wasn’t a hollow complaint.  Hopefully it will spur some training (or firing) so that the customers (the kids) can get the most out of their experience.


Two Down, One to Go!

We (and by that I mean Julie) have finished two new bedrooms, and now only have one to go.  It’s not much, but it is another project checked off our list.

2nd Bedroom – Project Done

Julie finished grouting the tile on Wednesday, and yesterday she moved the girls beds over from the room they had been in.  Thankfully they fit along that well quite well, otherwise making them fit into that room would have been awkward.

Now of course when I say we “finished” the room, I don’t mean to imply that we actually finished it.  How silly of you to make that assumption.  Really I only mean we finished the floor.   There are still no blinds on that window, which is going to be a must, VERY soon, since you can look in that window from the road.  We also don’t have any baseboards installed, nor the closet put together.

We are ready to work on closets though, for both rooms.   My dad picked up the melanine last night.   That will be this weekends project I suppose.  I’m sure they’d appreciate being able to keep their clothing in the same room they sleep in.  Simple things like that matter to people, you know?

In this picture of the melanine, you can see some doors in the background (left).   Those are going to be an upcoming project as well.  Just in front of those doors is a wrapped cabinet for the end kitchen area upstairs.   That is another project that keeps getting put off.

Service Opportunities

I think next we finally start on the new bathroom/shower.  We could really use a 2nd one in this house.   If any of you feel the desire, we would use and appreciate any service anybody wants to offer.   We have a variety of small things that would really make a huge difference to us, but that we just can’t find the time to get to ourselves.

Anyway, thanks for reading again and following us on this Journey!

 

 

Life in Bluffdale

Week two

Well we have been in Bluffdale two weeks now and I guess its about time I let me fans (I use the term loosely) know that I am alive and well.  It has been a bit crazy trying to settle into a good routine for the family but I think we are just about there.  I am grateful the kids got into the local charter school but man…I broke my budget this month.  Completely annihilated it.  Uniforms for 6 rugrats and school supplies to boot…I’m ready to just hide until October.

A Typical Day

Although nothing for me is typical, here is what a typical/ideal day looks like.  We wake up at 6:30 and spend the next hour … getting dressed, changing diapers, eating breakfast, brushing hair/teeth, doing dishes, family prayer, individual scripture reading.  Whew…did we get it all?

The older kids head to school while the younger 3 and I do chores, stories, and play time.  This is the time for me and the three boys.  Jax is having a hard time getting me to slow down and enjoy life.  I see too many projects all around me, too many things that need to be cleaned, organized, finished, etc.  I need to improve these 3 hours and focus on the needs of the ones at my feet.

Lunchtime comes all too soon and Andrew heads to school.  The 2 boys left at home take their naps while mom gets to do some serious work.  I’ve got 3 hours to tackle any project I choose.  But don’t get too involved because from 3-4:30 it’s a rat race trying to pickup kids from 3 different campuses (thankfully all here in Bluffdale) while getting two of them to and from cross country practice.

Let me tell you, ironing out the wrinkles in our pick-up routine was rough.  The first day, Caitlin waited for over an hour at the high school, because I had to pick up Kristie and get her to the Jr High and I was sure it would be faster than the shuttle.  The next day we tried the shuttle, but that meant the little kids waited 30+ minutes for Caitlin and we still had to head over to the Jr High.  It took some playing around but I think we are finally all satisfied with the pickup routine.

Evenings are nice, dinner, more playing together and enjoying family time.  The kids are always wanting to play with friends but I’ve missed them all day and I don’t like to share much.

Reality

Alright, so I mentioned that was an ideal routine.  In reality there have been a lot more projects to make this move comfortable.  I have made endless trips to the store for clothes, school supplies, groceries, etc.  (And I mean endless both in the quantity and length.  Truly it is ridiculous.)  There have been multiple trips to PG to get beds, furniture, food, etc.  It took me an entire day to set up bunk beds, the daybed, and the crib.  Not to mention having to run to the store for a new bolt for the trundle bed.  Jax and I spent an entire day cleaning up the driveway area to make room to park.  I had to re-caulk the bathtub before bath night.  We blew in the insulation at night but painted the whole addition in a 24 hour period.

Thankfully the library isn’t too far away (Riverton – Why doesn’t Bluffdale have one?) because I think I have been there 10 times in the last 2 weeks.  I am extremely grateful that we have internet up and running here now and I really feel that things can simmer down from this rolling boil to a gentle rhythm.  I still can’t sit still, I am going crazy sitting at the computer instead of wiring outlets.  But things improve each and every day.

I choose to enjoy this adventure called life…It’s a journey worth taking.

Jensen Family minus Jax (taking the pic)

Changing Schools – Again!

One of my favorite persons that I’ve met since coming back to Utah has got to be Les Hamilton.  We were in the same ward for a few months before a split, and have only talked a dozen or so times.   But every time I talk to him I like him even more than before.  He happens to be the AD at Summit Academy High School.

Good To Know

A few weeks ago I wrote about how we had gotten the kids all ready for school.  Well, last week Les shared a post on Facebook that Summit Academy High School was still accepting applications.   I had known that Summit was the closest school to my parents house, but I thought there was no way we could afford it.

When Les shared his post, I contacted him and told him I would like to consider it but that I was worried about cost since I’m a disabled vet who just lost everything.

Turns out I’m an idiot (no shock to the rest of you, I know).   Summit isn’t a private school…  it is a charter school.   No tuition!!  There is no reason my kids couldn’t attend.

Changing Again!

So I got online ASAP and put in applications for all of my kiddos.  They had room for all of them but Andrew, the one going into kindergarten.  They were reasonable enough to tell me that if I registered the others that they would “make room” for him.

So now the kids are all changing schools again.   It’s been a pain in the “lower torso” to take care of the withdrawals, fees, new schedules, and uniforms.   But I think the change will be a good one.   My kids are now attending Summit Academy schools in Bluffdale.

First Day

And this morning, despite the headaches and current life turmoil, we were able to successfully get the children off to school.  I think they were all even wearing clean clothes!

Nikki was nervous about the new school.  She really thrived at Central Elementary in PG.  She’s a bright little girl and I’m sure she’ll thrive here too.   Josh wasn’t interested in classes but more excited about Cross Country and Volleyball that both start after school today.

Caitlin just wants to find people she knows.  Kris and Charlee and excited to find friends too.  They all are looking forward to a great school year!

And so are we!!


Funny side note.   I called and withdrew the kids from the public schools.  The people who answered were all nice and polite and said it was no problem.

They all said they needed to note where the kids would be attending.  When I told them Summit, they ALL became much less polite, and borderline rude.   One of them asked the new school, and when I replied with “Summit Academy” I got back, “Summit?!  OK, got it” and she hung up on me.

I know there is political tension between public school advocates and advocates of other options.  But this was my first taste of it on a personal level.  I was a bit surprised at first.

I understand that public schools don’t want to lose the money that comes with each kid, but apparently they don’t understand that they are also losing the COST of the kid and the needed effort/energy to care for him/her.   But since they (and almost everyone else) focus on money…

Death and Divorce: Viable Options

When I was a Realtor I always considered it my primary task to remove as much stress from my clients as I possibly could.  Why?  Because studies showed that moving created stress near the levels of having a loved one die, or going through a divorce.

I think Julie would have happily taken either of those options yesterday.  Instead, she got to move into her “In-Laws” house (cue creepy horror music).

Stressed Out

It was not nearly as hard for her to move into her parents house.  It was a house she was familiar with, it was her parents instead of mine, and mostly because she knew it was a temporary home.

This time things are different.  This time the house is new to her.  She hasn’t lived here before, she doesn’t have a history of where things have been located in the house, she doesn’t have childhood memories there, there isn’t as much finished space, and other such reasons make this much harder emotionally for her.

And the owners of the house are new.  The household ‘norms’ are different.  She is trying to be more cautious about ‘stepping on toes’ since she hasn’t lived with my parents before.  She’s feeling very self-conscious about changing the way things have been done before, in a house she doesn’t feel is “hers” yet.  She doesn’t want to hurt feelings and has to think about more than she did while living with her parents.

And this is a permanent move.  Rather than going to her parents just temporarily and knowing she’ll get out of there again, she knows this move is not. That she won’t be leaving here anytime soon.   That is hard.  This isn’t where we ‘want’ to be.  If we had a magic wand to wave and choose where to live, it wouldn’t be here.   We’re here because of circumstances; not because it is our lifelong dream to move in with my parents (Sorry Mom).

The knowledge that this is a permanent (or at least very long term) is stressful, especially for Julie.  It’s not easy on me, but I feel really terribly bad for my sweetheart.

“It’s Fine”

We have a running joke where when we aren’t really happy about something we just tell each other “It’s fine! It’s fine!” with a  certain emphasis that tells the other that we’re jokingly not thrilled.   Julie keeps telling me that “It’s fine’ but without that emphasis.

She says it’s fine, but she is lying.  I caught her crying yesterday while trying to move in.  The stress of trying to organize ourselves into a house with people already living in it was winning the day.   I held her and told her things would get better.  That little by little it will feel more like home, and that she is welcome to make it her home.

And today is a better day.  She is more carefree and happy.  It’s will be a roller coaster of ups and downs, but I’m sure it will trend toward happiness.

She really will be fine.  She is amazingly strong and resilient.  And she’s been through worse.   Afterall, she did move me into an unfinished home, in December, with no insulation, no internal plumbing, no walls, no electricity, and no flooring (concrete and plywood was all), and she considers it a great memory.

We’ll be fine and things will work out.  Hopefully without the Death and Divorce involved.

But if you see Julie, and feel inclined, please pass on your encouragement and love.   She might need them more than usual over the next few weeks.


And please forgive her if I’m wrong and she strangles me in my sleep.  Even I would understand!   🙂