Julie and I started this blog hoping to chronicle our journey either back to the farm or onto some other adventure. We hope those days will come and that we’ll have many moments of happiness and joy. And while we will use this blog for when those things happen, I’m afraid that the first journey that needs to be taken is a journey toward mental wellness for me.
I’m not sure how “exciting” of a journey that will be for any of you to follow. I’m not even sure how much of that we’re going to be willing to share. Mental health issues are very sensitive, and there is almost always a very negative stigma associated with them. I have many raw emotions and will have lots of shame and embarrassment to overcome. Some of that you won’t hear about.
I know for a fact that there are things about my trauma that I won’t share. But there are others things that I think I wouldn’t mind, like even admitting that I have PTSD, or that I’m getting mental health treatment from the VA. Some things I think will be helpful to talk about and share because it will help me to learn to stop the pattern of avoidance and isolation. I think I’ll need to share them in order to get better.
I also think that all of us know more people with mental health issues than we realize, and that those people are nervous to let others know. I think that the more people learn about MH issues the more they can act with compassion toward those they know and love… maybe I’ll be able to share something that will help you understand the depression/loneliness/anxiety that your friend or family member is feeling. Or perhaps by sharing it will give somebody else the resolve to seek help for their issues too. Maybe some other veteran will find help instead of turning into a “22 a day” statistic (22 veterans a day commit suicide). So I’ll share and hope for those results, as well as to show my kids that their father is doing his best to get better.
So if you are interested in that, then keep following along as we, the Jensen family, continue our journey through life, where ever that might take us. Our first step will be to attempt to mend my broken vessel.
I pray for you always Richard. I know that this is a hard time for you, Julie, and the kids.. I hope that you will think of me as a sounding board, someone who will listen if you need to talk.
Dad and I will always love you no matter what. We will always be there for you. Please don’t hesitate to call us at any time day or night.
My heart goes out to you and your family, Richard. As a survivor, and also having PTSD, plus the trauma as an infant before being adopted, I can sympathize with you about your position. Yes, it will be a journey to wellness…and yes, every once in a while you may wish to have another ‘tune up’ to refine your MH wellness. Life can be so difficult…and no one’s pain is worse/better than anyone else’s pain. It is all an individual thing. One thing is for sure, just get those feelings about your trauma out by writing about them…no one needs to hear them, see them written…just get them out. Then burn them…safely. Paint them out…I’m ‘famous’ for painting black roses with bleeding thorns…make sure your personal boundaries are healthy…so you don’t share too much with people who don’t understand. As a baby and a child I had ‘night terrors’…no one could quiet me or wake me up. I was reliving the terror that happened…and did not remember on a conscious level. Eventually, with more information and a good therapist, I was able to process what had happened, mourn, and move on. Read all you can about your diagnosis…the meds if any are prescribed…and make your choices with knowledge. At least you are in a safe marriage with family surrounding you. When I was going through the worst part of my MH journey, I was not…and that in itself was a huge issue for me. So, prayers for you, Julie and children. You are on the road to recovery.