School Registrations

Anticipating a move from Pleasant Grove to Bluffdale this summer, we went ahead and registered the kids for school up in the Jordan School District. They are still registered for PG next year too in case we don’t get moved like we have planned on.

Caitlin

Caitlin completed 9th grade this year, which in Utah is at the middle school. So she is now ready to move onto the higher education I suppose.

PGJH had a fairly well run routine for getting kids registered. Caitlin wasn’t thrilled with her registration at PG High however. There were a number of classes she wanted to get into that were unavailable by the time she was allowed to register. She got into the core classes she needed, but the electives she wanted were filled.

I went over to Riverton High School a few weeks before the year ended to get her registered. After handling the paperwork they gave me the login info to get her into classes for next year.

Surprisingly Riverton had all of her desired classes available except for photography. She got into Physics, Digital Media, and Sign Language as well as her core classes. I’m not sure if Riverton just has more teachers for those electives and that is why they were open, or if she lucked out that not as many people at RHS wanted those classes.

I think she is looking forward to the new year and moving into High School. She turns 15 this summer, so personally I’m not ready for her to be a High School student.

Joshua

Joshua had an interesting year. He started the year in 8th grade in MO and ended it in 7th grade at PGJH. At his request, he’ll be going through 7th grade again next year.

His birthday is in late July. That means that by Utah deadlines next year he should be one of the youngest 8th graders. He doesn’t particularly like being one of the youngest, and so holding him back a year would make him one of the oldest 7th graders. But because his birthday is so close to the deadline he the age gap isn’t any different. By that I mean he is just as close to the 7th graders in age as he is to the 8th graders. So socially it isn’t a big deal.

Academically he is plenty smart enough to have stayed in 8th grade all last year and move into 9th this year. But because of the homeschooling time, and the time lost to fires, he does have some gaps in his knowledge. He’s smart enough to move ahead, but he’d rather not.

So next year Josh will be in 7th grade, again, at South Hills Middle. Because it is 7th grade there isn’t a lot of variability in his schedule like there is in Caitlin’s. He’ll be where ever the 7th grade puts him.

Sports

A portion of his decision making in that regard was athletics. He loves sports. And while he is intelligent enough to move ahead, physically he knows he couldn’t compete athletically that way. Being smart doesn’t make your body mature or grow any faster than anybody else. That takes time, and he’s willing to spend that time (an additional school year) letting his body mature so that he has a chance to compete and play on sports teams.

Julie and I were torn on this. We both value academic education very highly. If he’d stayed ahead he could have graduated High School at 16. If he moved up with this class he’d finish at 17. By moving back he’ll finish at 18. But that isn’t HIS goal. And it is HIS life, so we will support his decision on how he wants to spend it and what goals he wants to chase after, even if it isn’t what we would choose.

We’ll compensate by getting him into concurrent enrollment, summer college courses, or other alternate education options. There is no reason that he can’t excel at both academics and athletics as so many others have done.

Elementary School

All of the other kids are moving up a year as expected. We’ll even be having a new one enter the system. One of them did express some hope of doing homeschooling again. So it is possible that we’ll have at least one at home with us.

I’d love to keep them all of the elementary kids home as I really, really don’t like public schooling. At all! But that might need to wait until we are more settled in. As soon as we are I’d love to keep the kids at home around us.

And so that is what we have planned for next year’s schooling. With 6 of 8 going to school the house will feel very empty I’m afraid. Wish us luck!

5 June 20174 June 2017

Examining My Motivation

This question was asked during church this week… “What motivates you?” I was able to sit through about 10 minutes of discussion before JR started fussing. He was loud enough that I needed to leave so that he didn’t bother the rest of the class. So I sat with him in the hall and thought about that singular question… what is my motivation?

Searching for Motivation

The first answer that came to mind to me is “I have no motivation.” I didn’t share this with the class, but kept it to myself. I do find it very hard much of the time to find motivation to do anything. I’m in a depressed mood much of the time.

Even when I have the desire to get up and do something, quite often the chronic pain is there to change my mind. I want to get up and be outside doing things, but knowing they are going to hurt while doing them AND continue hurting long after I’ve stopped makes it extremely difficult to do much at all.

Fear of pain

But that means that I am motivated to stay docile because of fear of pain. Having many times experienced headaches so bad that they leave me vomiting or blacked out, I find pain avoidance to be highly motivating.

Now, because I know that continuing to gain weight will also cause more pain, I do find motivation to do what I can. Even 8 years after being medically discharged I am still trying to find the threshold between activity and pain. The same fear of pain that sucks motivation from me, also makes me want to get up and do what I can so that I don’t get worse. It is a balancing act that I often feel I am failing at.

Love of family

Love for my family is the one thing that consistently overcome my fear of pain. I will do what NEEDS to be done for them even if I know it will be painful. Right now this is happening with getting my parents house cleaned out. We NEED a permanent place to live. Every day I wake up stiff, sore, and nauseated from pain. But the clock is ticking toward start of the next school year, so I get up and get moving.

Before this though there were many days when I probably would have stayed in bed all day. Or if I did get up, I wouldn’t go anywhere as I hate being in public. If it weren’t that Julie hates this and it makes her feel bad, then I’d never leave the house.

But making Julie happy and wanting to see the kids is enough to get me out of bed and dressed. It’s really been the only thing getting me to church for years. Don’t misunderstand, I love my church. I have a deep and abiding faith in Christ. But the pain and PTSD would be enough to keep me from attending except that Julie wants me there with the family. So I go, for love of the family.

Other motivation?

I don’t know if I can come up with another one. I don’t do much pleasure seeking, I don’t care about money, I’d rather not be famous. While at Fort Huachuca I lost the will to live, and am only still here today because of my love for Julie and the kids. There are occasionally things I would like to do, but they all largely go unfulfilled for reasons previously discussed. And even when I do something that I “want to do” it is largely unsatisfying.

I have good moments of laughter and love, but am largely unmotivated toward anything in particular. My decision making paradigm can basically be boiled down to pain avoidance and love of family.

I’d love to hear… what motivates you?

Andrew with his puppy — Andrew circa 2015 with our Great Pyrenees puppy ‘Chief’

4 June 2017

What Is That? – Cleaning Out My Parents House

We have concluded the first full week of cleaning out my parents home in preparation for remodeling it. Sometime later I’ll share some pictures to show what we’re doing. In the meantime…

“What is that?” is the most common question the kids have asked while cleaning? So far, the answers have included the following:

What is that?

a record player

hard foam insulation

every tax return my parents have ever filed (back to 1967!)

an entire case of unopened Christmas lights

my Garbage Pail Kid collection

DB Cooper’s parachute

a slide projector

a dead mouse

a live hawk

a hand made Raggedy Ann doll

5 boxes up empty picture frames

my Yell Leader uniforms from high school

1990 World Book Encyclopedias (follow up question from the kids, “what’s an encyclopedia?”)

the watch my grandfather wore throughout WWII

the Amber Room panels

a gallon jar of strike anywhere matches

another bag of unopened Christmas lights

a handmade foozle ball game

my handwriting papers from 1st grade/Kindergarten

20 years of my mom’s day planners

a 1960’s baby stroller

6 blocks of 22LR rounds

Amelia Earhart’s plane

30+ thimbles

my mothers Prom dress and my father’s Prom suit

grandma’s yearbook shirt (she embroidered over each signed name)

30 years worth of Ensign magazines

Another 2000 unopened boxes of Christmas lights

a dozen 72-hour kits

enough flashlights to signal Alpha Centauri

more antiques than the Smithsonian

Jimmy Hoffa

a Nintendo NES system

my youth sports trophies

the Treasures of Priam

the doll my mother was given as a newborn by a traveling salesman

the deer antlers that hung above my bed as a child

bugs… lots of bugs (Nikki supplied this answer)

two butter churn

a manual nut chopper (?)

and finally…

a wooden box that Kraft cheese used to be sold in

And The Hits Just Keep On Coming…

That kids have been fascinated by what we find. Every item has its own history lesson attached, many of them about the family member who owned it. We’ve enjoyed the stories we’d have never heard otherwise. It’s even better when both Mom and Dad have drastically different stories about an items origin (“this came all the way from Egypt!” “No, we bought it at a store in Provo”) Good time!

I wouldn’t say that we’re quite yet half way done with the house, and that doesn’t include the three car garage. So I am sure that we will find some more absolute gems… maybe some religious relics and possibly a lost city or two.

I love you Mom…

3 June 20174 June 2017

A Very Angry Running Log

As documented, I’ve been keeping track of the running exercises that the family has been doing. Everybody is doing fantastic and getting better. They all especially enjoyed the “mini-marathon” that the Central Elementary put on as a fund raiser.

This is were I start getting angry!

We were hoping to also let them run in the Pleasant Grove Strawberry Days 5K this summer. Julie did some checking into the registration and we will no longer be participating. Apparently the ba***rds involved think that it costs them $20 per participant to run along their city streets!?!

How the hell am I supposed to be able to afford $100 to let five family members run? $100 to use your public streets for 45 minutes?!? What are those costs covering?? Running requires no actual costs in equipment, nor any specialized skills. There are no hard costs involved since your roads being used are already paid for through the taxes you take. Can any reason justify $20 PER PERSON to participate in an event with no inherent costs?

Almost every city runs some kind of ‘town days’ event in order to bring out their citizens and provide them with some activities to enjoy together. Strawberry Days is one of those events, and is one of the longest running ‘town days’ in Utah. It is meant for community involvement! It isn’t a business endeavor or private event. Yet I’ve seen private for-profit running events, at much nicer venues, that cost less!

We know there are many events that are costly to put on that we can’t take advantage of. But running? We should be able to afford that!! Are you intentionally trying to keep the poorer members of the community out? You have priced out any struggling members of this community! Or is this also a fundraising event instead of one intended to increase community involvement?

‘Running’ a Scam!

So I’m a bit angry. The historical purpose for these town days events has apparently been abandoned. It is no longer about bringing people together in mutual activity. Or at least those activities are only made available to those with better financial fortunes than the Jensens have.

I know this is a minor ‘first-world-problem’ thing, and that many people with financial problems have it much worse than I do. But I’m mad on their behalf too. How many people would like to participate in this type of should-be-affordable community event, but can’t because the “community” has priced them out of it? There are so few entertainments that poor people get to do or participate in. Running should be within their financial reach!

Maybe I need to retake an anger management course, but I can’t tell you how utterly ridiculous I find this pricing. I’ve fluctuated between smolderingly mad and blinding rage.

Your streets are not that great PG, it is not some great prestigious event to run on them. No fame comes to the winner and no glory is bestowed by the heavens. How about next year you keep your community events at a price point that doesn’t cut out your community?

Deep breaths Jax, keep taking deep breaths and relax.

30 May 2017

I Lied!

I Lied

Can you forgive me?

I had said that I would share about my depression and PTSD in hopes of helping others. It turns out that that sentiment isn’t entirely true. There have been a few posts that I have written that upon re-reading are just too personal for me to make public. I’m just not comfortable sharing some things yet.

I still have them saved OR I have published them as “private” where only I can read them. I kept them so that the stories and record of my feelings persist. And perhaps in the future when some time has passed I’ll be comfortable sharing them. But for now they are mine alone.

I Lied, But Isn’t It Understandable?

Hopefully my reluctance to share some things makes sense to everyone. Are you willing to share everything about YOU? Probably not, right? So surely it is understandable that I am reluctant to share some things that are emotionally sensitive and that are negatively stigmatized.

Yes, I lied to you. But you still love me, right?