It is time again for another doomed-to-fail weight loss attempt. Why Do I Do This To Myself?

It’s Glaringly Obvious!

Every time I look in a mirror, try to walk up a flight of stairs, or attempt to pick something up off of the ground, it is obvious why I need to lose weight.  I’m a big, fat, slug of a man.  The pain sucks. My back can’t handle the stress the weight causes.  I’ve consistently gained 10lbs a year since getting injured.  I don’t expect I could make it to my 50’s if don’t reverse course.

If I want to see my kids grow up or get married than I have to make weight loss a priority.  If I would like to be able to remain mobile much longer than I must shed some pounds.  I’d really love to be able to stop using my cane.  If I continue to balloon then eventually my ankles, knees, or back will just give out and I’ll be in really bad shape.  It should be glaringly obvious that if I want any quality of life that changes need to happen.

But I Also Have No Idea!

While it IS glaringly obvious that I need to lose weight, I simultaneously have no idea why I do this to myself.  I have tried and failed so many time that I have no confidence that I can succeed.  Does another attempt make any sense if I have anticipate failure?  Yes, the results seem desirable and worth the effort; No, they don’t seem achievable.

But hey, would I really be “me” if I didn’t occasionally try insanely stupid things that seem doomed to failure from the beginning?  Maybe it’s time for a “Here, hold my beer Sprite” type of moment.

Weight Loss Efforts

I will not be doing anything drastic.  I will be trying to combine a small change in what I eat (my “diet”) with a small increase in exercise.

What I eat (diet)

I think the biggest effect could come from just a slight amount of self-control, namely, not eating or snacking after scriptures/bedtime for the kids.  This usually happens around 9pm at our house, but I routinely consume a significant number of calories after this time.   Eliminating this “after hours” eating could/should have the biggest impact on my weight loss.

I don’t usually have much of a breakfast, due mostly to morning back pain keeping me in bed until after normal breakfast hours.  I know breakfast is “the most important meal of the day,” but this probably won’t change.  My morning consumption however has already been changed from cereal or bacon/eggs into a fruit/veggie juice.

Julie and I bought a Champion Juicer that we love.  We’ve had one for years (replaced after each fire).  Julie has been making fresh juices for us most mornings as breakfast.  The juicer tears apart the cells releasing the nutrients rich contents and eliminating the pulp/cell membrane.

A typical juice for two would include:

3 apples

1/10 of a pineapple

1/2 cup of mixed berries (blueberries, strawberry, raspberry, etc)

2 carrots

1/2 cucumber

1/2 stalk of celery

1 serving of some type of squash (zucchini, crook necked, etc)

small handful of spinach or kale (kale is bitter, use sparingly)

There are numerous books, websites, blogs, etc. that give you other recipes that are great.   This one is kind of Julie’s go-to recipe.  Just run it all through the juicer, stir, and enjoy.  You can get a full days nutrients from just one glass of fresh juice.  And it is easier than trying to eat that quantity of produce.

Exercise

This one has always been tough.  The chronic pain makes everything hard.  Combined with seeing how much ability I’ve lost, it becomes is very depressing.   How do I overcome that?

I had always played a variety of sports that would have me running and jumping.  But my weight and back problems don’t let me do either of those.  AT ALL!   Thankfully it is summer now, which provides an easy way to neutralize my massive weight: swimming.

Being in water relieves the stress that the weight puts on my body.  It doesn’t hurt my leg joints nor my back.  The plus side of having this much blubber is it’s buoyancy!  The local Pleasant Grove pool is only open in summer, and so I am looking forward to taking advantage of our family pass.

The downside to swimming though is that in order to breath one must keep ones head out of the water.  I’ve found that the arch in my back that this requires creates a more-than-acceptable level of pain.  So in years past I haven’t swam either.

I’m ashamed to say it took me 9 years to solve the problem of breathing with my face underwater.

I don’t know why this “new technology” eluded me for so long, but I’m happy to say that I can now swim, pain free.   Shoulder surgeries has left them weak which could be a problem with swimming too.  Happily, I’ve found that also using fins give me plenty of propulsion to keep me at the surface without engaging my arms (the blubber helps too!).

So I can avoid back pain, rest my arms/shoulders when tired, and can get some exercise!  I am thrilled and excited about this.

Optimism

I’m leery that something will go wrong.   In the last few years something always seems to for me.  But I am more cautiously optimistic.  Not necessarily that I’ll lose weight, but that I can at least increase my activity level without a corresponding increase in pain.

If I can exercise, and if I can control what I eat, perhaps the weight loss will come.  If weight loss can occur, perhaps the pain will decrease (or disappear?).  And if I can be healthy and if the pain goes away, perhaps the depression/anxiety/PTSD will get better too.   That is far too many if‘s for me to be hopeful, but maybe feeling doomed to failure isn’t realistic either.

So wish me luck.  Words of encouragement are always welcome.  Prayers are appreciated.  Feel free to ask me how it is going.  I need the accountability.

And please, stop running away and screaming when I take my shirt off at the pool.  That could make a person feel bad you know 🙂